PTSD
by Razgriz13
Summary: My Senior Short Story I did as a final about the after effects of the Battle of Takur Gahar  MoH 2010 last mission  through the eyes of an US Army Ranger.


_**P.T.S.D**_

"_5 minutes guys" The pilot yelled back to us._

"_We got three of our guys that have gone black two SEAL and the other is an_

_Airmem Combat Controller" Captain Self said as he walked down the cabin of_

_the Chinook .I felt my buddy John grab my shoulder and yell "you ready kid". _

_The only thing I could say in this __meekly voice was "Hua". That's when it _

_happens._

"_This is Razor 1 we are taking small arms fire" the pilot said in a panic voice,_

_everyone else was in a panic as well as the Chinook rocked back and forth._

_That's when it happen Sergeant __Phillip Svitak dropped dead with a bullet in the_

_head. As soon as this happened all hell began; The Chinook took an RPG round_

_and the helicopter fell out of the sky. We were thrown around the cabin of the_

_helicopter like cloth in the laundry dryer, bullets holes and the beams of light_

_from them shot through cabin. Then nothing but blackness._

That is usually when I wake up to my small apartment room,

soaking wet in my own sweat and my heart pounding that it echoes

through the apartment. I set up and sit at the edge of the bed

and just think to myself 'why'. I look at my dog tags and stare

at the print:

_Parker_

_Matthew__ P_

_2584786547_

_A+_

_Christen_

I sit and stare at them for at least three hours and just watch

it dangle. The only comfort I find is in the drink, for hours I

drink my self in a coma and again slip in to that dream. Although

the dream is not even a dream, I wish it was a nightmare, but it

is no nightmare it is my memory and it's something I always have

to live with.

The war has not only a mark on me mentally but also

physically as my left hand is missing the pinky, and middle fingers. I

wish that's where it ends but I have small metal fragments in my right

leg stuck right inside the bone. The doctors said it would

permanent lose walking ability if it was next morning afterI

had drank my self to death and the phone rang, I stubbed to the living

room and answered the phone.

"Hello" I said in a very intoxicated voice

"Matthew, your drunks again aren't you. You know it was

hard for you but you need to grow the hell up Matthew" my

mother yelled

"Bye mom" I said

"You need help" she yelled as I hit the hang up button

But she was right. I need help because I starting to believe I suffer

from Post Tamatic Stress Disorder.

(P.T.S.D) in which my mind has gone

through a tough time and is having a tough time getting over that.

Having PTSD is like there pain that won't go away, it keeps old memories

manly the bad ones alive in my head. The friends, comrades and even some

of the enemy that I have seen killed in front of my eyes is something

that can't be erased. My fragile state of mind has cost me four

relationships, alienated my self from family, friends, and just the

outside world in general. From when I returned home to now non-stop

anxiety attacks, drug abuse, alcohol abuse everyday. I do this to my

self just to stop or forget the memories and just let go of all that is around me.

_But that is when everything got worse. My friend Matt got up while everyone _

_was down, he got up and wondered outside when a crack from an AK-47 went off _

_and Private First Class Matthew A. Commons_ _dropped. That's when Sergeant _

_Bradley S. Crose went to pull Commons lifeless body back in the wrecked _

_helicopter when an RPG round hit right next to him, killing him instantly. This _

_also gave John command of 2__nd__ squad as a result._

"_Matt! Matt get up! Can you hear me?" A voice echoed through out my ear_

_It was like a dream but not a dream, a haze of smoke and gunfire there was _

_nothing I could do at that moment but be in this desolation._

"_On your feet man" John yelled and grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me outside _

_of the wrecked Chinook._

"_Is he hit?" Chris the medic asked_

"_No he's fine" John yelled_

"_Anderson is hit!" someone yelled_

"_He's gone" another yelled back_

_Speaclist Marc A. Anderson was reloading his M4 when a mortar round landed_

_behind him, killing him. I remember everyone was on defensive positions and_

_lighting everything up; this snow covered mountain was about to be our graves if_

_we didn't do anything fast._

"_Matt. Here. Return fire man, bad guys to our eleven and one O'clock"_

_John said as he handed me my rifle and ran off to give orders to the rest of_

_the squad. The never ending gunfire scared me. I know I'm suppose to be__a Us _

_Army Ranger but this is too much I don't want to be here anymore,__please god _

_get me out of here__._

Another night of these memories, these nightmares of the past.

Is it weird that I think about suicide? Or I want to driving my beatup

car into the ocean off Santa Monica? These thoughts gothrew my mind

on a daily bases, its like my conciseness isgiving up on me and

I'm giving into it. I sleep with a snubnose revolver under my

pillow and when I'm actually a sleepand not going into a

nightmare and I hear a sound; I jumpup and pull the revolver out

and point at it in the_ darkness._

My Army experience wasn't all bad. Like I loved everyone in

my platoon, there were best friends I would ever have. We

were Rangers to the end and to some it was that way. John

Mercer the guy in my nightmares is actually my best friend

and brother in law. My sister and he dated when they were

seniors in high school, I was a freshman at the time and

that was when life was 'good'. I partied and did so much

that I forgot that my education would take me farther, so

when senior came I barely passed and didn't fill out

applications anywhere so college was out of the question.

At this point in my life my sister was married and John had

gone to the Army and was a Ranger already. So since I screw

up my Senior year, my parents said it was to the military

for me they said it would "Build Character". So it was off

to Fort Jackson for Basic Training and as soon as you knew

I it graduated then was off to Fort Benning to RangerSchool.

Then I graduated at the top of my class. This is where I

met up with John again. He was with 3rd Battalion at the

time but then transferred to 1st Battalion with me and for

the time it was good. It was fun Private Torres would bring

glow sticks and at night we would have ourselves a little

rave with the best techno punk in 1st Battalion Corporal

Keller doing techno with his mouth. But that is when we

were deployed to I Afghanistan for 8 months, this was

A week has gone by and no dreamsor any thing of the sort

but I also got a job at the local warehouse for Target as a

Stock/Inventory Manager. So things have been looking goodfor me

and seeming to be a lot better. But still feel mypast creeping

up on me. John came by today and we talkedabout what happened

and what happened to me, to actuallytalk about it was actually

quite nice. Like letting a biglie out and you feel

so clean. But when we were talking itreminded me of the pain we

faced ay Takur Ghar and the more we talked the more I remembered.

"_Alright I want 2__nd__ squad to flank the right side of mountain!" Captain Self _

_yelled __over__ the gunfire._

"_You heard the Captain" John yelled as he gathered his squad to flank the _

_mountain_

_We ran up the right side of the hill, I noticed that it has been quite silent and we _

_gathered at the base of a rock formation._

"_Okay, everyone the peak of the mountain is just ahead of us where going_

_call in the 'Medivac' and this will be our new base of operations. Hua?"__John _

_said_

"_Hua" everyone replied_

_As we advanced it became a little eerie as things just didn't feel right like_

_something in that cold air was wrong and unsettling._

"_Ay Parker that rock formation look wired to you" James asked_

"_Little bit" I replied to him as I fought the thin oxygen in the air._

_Just at that second that 'Rock Formation' was actually the entrance to a_

_Al-Qaeda bunker. Unleashing a hail storm of bullets, we only had seconds to find _

_cover. Lewis and Paul were both it in their legs and they dropped fast_

_as they yelled in pain. Mike our medic as having a hard time getting to_

_them as every time he moved a burst of gunfire would hit his cover, it was_

_starting to look bad._

"_Matt, James, Daven! Move up well cover y'all!" John yelled as he fired__his _

_rifle. We ran to the closes cover we could find and dove for cover, we were all _

_rather scared but we all had to take action._

"_Okay Matt lay down some fire on the right side of the place as Daven moves up _

_got it" James said_

_I just nodded my head and pointed my rifle at the rocks where we were receiving_

_the gunfire from and took aim. That's when I lost all feeling everything was cold_

_and I could breath too well. A figure stood up with a rifle in hand and I pulled the_

_trigger. Dropping the figure fast and then I saw a JDAM(Joint Direct Attack_

_Munition) hit in the 'danger close' range and I dropped back down from the force_

_of the explosion. When the smoked cleared all hell broke loose as the AQ and Taliban _

_fired back and there was a frenzy of gun fire. At this moment I was numb to the world as I _

_selected my targets and pulled the trigger of my M4. That is when another airstrike hit the _

_them and all was quiet .When I got up shock off the shakes I had and met up with John_

_and five others an we scouted the entrance of the bunker when we noticed a_

_helmet with a bullet hole in it. The inside of the helmet was blood outlining it, we_

_all figured the worst and that he they have been dead for sometime. We searched_

_the entrance of the AQ's cave were we identified the bodies of our SEAL Petty_

_Officer 1st Class Neil C. Roberts and Airmen TSgt John A. Chapman._

"_Assassin 1-Actual this is Assassin 1-1. You copy" John said into the radio_

'_This is Assassin 1-Actual go ahead 1-1" Captain Self said over the radio_

"_We got our boys sir. There dead" John said with a bit of depression in his voice_

"_Understood 1-1. The AQ are falling back and Night Stalkers from Gardez are_

_heading this way for Evac" Captain Self replied_

"_Anyone else hurt sir" John asked_

"_Senior Airman Cunningham is bleeding out. Doc Mitchell said he not going to_

_make it….you boys get back down here. Assassin 1-Actucal out" Captain Self replied_

John and I talked about this for hours about Takur Ghar but the

thing isonce he left I stopped feeling better and started to

fall into depression again. The minute he walked out I got a

panic attack and ran for my pills, I forgot I was all out

medication so I resorted to my substance abuse. For hours

was vodka and shooting up, I felt disgusted with myself but

I felt more relaxed but this was wrong. That is when I started

crying and thrashing around I destroyed half of my

apartment; nothing was left untouched. The bed was thrown

on the wall, the tables broken and broken bottles

everywhere. There I was slouched in my chair in front of the

Television with gun in hand. I pressed it against my forehead.

Just then my mind shot back to Gardez a couple of days after the

battle on Takur Ghar's mountains.

_Just days after we left Takur Ghar that is when my life really changed, short _

_range patrols around the city of Gardez was mainly what we did after the _

_operation. In a Humvee with my buddies just doing a normal routine patrol _

_around the city. _

"_Yo Matt bro. Did I ever tell you how my brother almost broke out of jail" Mike the_

_Medic said to me_

"_Your such a liar man" The Driver said _

"_I agree with the kid. Mike you are lying to us big time" James said _

_We all started to laugh and when a loud sound bang blew out my ears and my _ _vision becomes hazy and I become disorientated. My door flys open with a John _ _pulling me out of the Humvee, he pulls me in to a small ditch and calls out for _ _help as two others radio in what just happen. Our Humvee had hit an IED _ _(Improvised explosive device) the whole front of the vehicle had literally _ _vanished. As I layed there I saw where I was sitting and where Mike the medic _ _was sitting, his seat was fully engulfed in flames with a charred arm hanging out _ _of the flames. They couldn't the drivers or Jame's bodies. I put my head against _ _the hot sand and took a deep breath, that is when I noticed my left hand was _ _missing my pink and middle finger, all I could do was stare at it._ I cocked the hammer back on my revolver and thought about everything that I had gone through and how it would be a waste if I ended my life and how the guys who died would be disappointed in me. I took the barrel of the gun from my temple and put it on safety and dropped the revolver, and sat there in my chair and turn on the TV. CNN was on and they were taking about the on going operations in Afghanistan. I just thought to myself was it all worth it and was this a give or a curse I am force to live with?

Background : The Battle of Takur Ghar from March 4-March 5, 2002 was part of Operation Anaconda in March 1–18, 2002. Takur Ghar was a mountain in Shah-i-Kot Valley in which the nine Americans lost there lives. After a Navy SEAL and Air Forces Combat Controller went missing in Takur Ghar a QRF (Quick Response Force) of the 75th Rangers of 1st Battalion were to retrieve them. Enrote to Takur Ghar the CH-47 Chinook took heavy small-arm fire causing the death of the side gunner from the 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment. At the same time an RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade) hit the helicopter. The surviving Rangers had to fight there way all day to overwhelming numbers of al-Qaeda and Taliban force. Three Rangers were killed in the process. Eventually the Rangers found the bodies of the SEAL and Airmen. Air Forces Pararescue men Senior Airman Jason D. Cunningham of Camarillo California was wounded while helping other wounded Rangers but they were denied evacuation as a result Cunningham bled out and died on the spot. American officals believe that over thousand AQ and Taliban fighters were at Takur Ghar, and an estimated 200 fighters were killed .

**U.S. Casualties**

SEAL TEAM:

Petty Officer 1st Class Neil C. Roberts, born 1970, Woodland, California

USAF CCT:

TSgt John A. Chapman, born 1966, Waco, Texas

USAF PARARESCUE:  
>Senior Airman Jason D. Cunningham, born 1976, Camarillo, California<p>

ARMY RANGERS:

PFC Matthew A. Commons, born 1981, Boulder City, Nevada

SGT Bradley S. Crose, born 1980, Orange Park, Florida

SPC Marc A. Anderson, born 1972, Brandon, Florida

SOAR:

SGT Phillip "Spytech" Svitak, born 1971, Neosho, Missouri


End file.
